But You Are Not Alone

Parenting is hard. From sleepless nights to the ups and downs of potty training, raising children is a daunting task. However, knowing that you are not alone, is somewhat comforting.
Over the past year (starting in kindergarten, 2023), we have been struggling with school drop-offs with my first-grade daughter. Few days are okay, most days are a struggle, and some days are downright hysterical.

There are days where I must force my daughter into the back seat of my car, and there are days where I walk her in the front doors at school and the teachers have to pry her off me. And it can be worse for my wife (the dreaded “mom-effect”).

But, when she gets in to school, she’s fine! Which makes me think this is probably just a phase, and it will pass. What’s frustrating is when she was in preschool and pre-k, she had no problem going in to school. She would walk all by herself, and in fact, insist on it some days. Curiously, this was during the time when my son was having trouble going in to school.

My son who is 2 years older and now in 3rd grade, struggled all the way up until 2nd grade, which was when we changed schools. When we changed schools last year, all of a sudden he could go in to school no problem. In fact, now he tells me he wants to be there early, so he can be the first one there! What a difference a year can make. However, changing schools also coincided with our daughter struggling. When she was in the preschool/pre-k grades and she would walk in without a problem, I used to think it was her way of showing mommy and daddy “look, I don’t cry when I go to school, not like my brother”.

A few weeks ago before the kids’ break, we went to watch their “Wonder Day” which is a friendly competition of silly events between staff and grades. Many other parents were there, and I started talking to one of the other dads that I have come to know. We were just making small talk when he started to express his frustration with dropping off their daughter and how it was pulling teeth to get her to go to school as well – kicking and screaming apparently. Before I knew it, we were both lamenting on how difficult parenting can be, with the struggles of going to school being only one set of difficulties.

It would be very naïve of me to think that we are the only ones going through struggles during drop-off at school. However, when you are in the middle of it, it becomes extremely daunting and emotionally stressful.

But still, hearing it from another was somewhat comforting – we are not alone! Nobody is perfect, which stands to reason that no family is perfect as well. Kids are strange beings. They are a case study in bi-polar disorder… one minute they are crying and the world is ending, next minute they are laughing hysterically. In all seriousness, this just shows how resilient children are, and we must remember: it is all a phase, and we just need to survive.

So, why am I writing this? I suppose I just want whomever is out there who may be in a similar situation – you are not alone! It may feel that way when you are in the midst of all the emotional anguish…. But there are others who are struggling alongside you – even if you don’t realize it. Misery loves company… amiright?! And sometimes, just talking to parents who are in the midst of it can offer some consolation to this crazy idea called parenting.